Food Poisoning

I had one of the worst days of my life today. Woke up with a stomach ache. Spent 2hours in the toilet. Pain pain pain….food poisoning. Went to the ekspo and watched faiz play futsal last nite. Im gonna list down all the food I ate. Fried wantan, sotong kangkung, roasted chicken and drank air kelapa laut. Everyone was fine except me. So I suppose the roasted chicken was the spoilt one bcoz I was the one who was eating it. Sangat menyeksakan. Mcm nak give birth je…Face all pale, felt like vomiting and fainting. The stomach ache didn’t bother me much…wat worries me more is that there was blood when I peed. Blood in the urine can either be that ur having problems with the kidney or kencing kotor(due to excessive use of public toilets). So I freaked out. Called my personal doc (mama). She told to see the doc. So I did. But now im ok. Alhamdulillah.

A Dream is a Wish

Its been a week already. WOooooohhhffff..the longest w/o hearing from him. But i dont mind. He has his obligations. Anyways...i really miss him. YES. Naseb baik dpt mimpi. Last 2 days and last night. Both were good. But as they say, dreams and reality will always be the opposite way round. Im scared.

1.11am confession

Have u ever miss someone? Miss that person to the extent of feeling sad..down..hopeless..?
Im missing him...missing him badly. Uncertain of how to deal with these feelings. I know its not right to be feeling this way. But its beyond my will. Tapi perasaan tak boleh dilayan sangat...will lead to a very unhealthy situation.

Starting all over

As u can see, i started reading muqadam at the age of 6 kot. Tp takpenah pandai2 pon. Until we left for Japan. I started to learn from the beginning at the age of 9 kot. This Indonesian ustaz will come over every friday to the Msian Apartment in Tokyo and will teach us children. Each kid will only get to spend 10-15min. And after we left for Msia, i did continue reading with this ustazah but the she moved so i stopped. And when we moved to Kelantan, my mom would send both my lil sis and bro to this aunty Aisyah to learn to read the quran. That time it was after SPM. I had nothing to do much as i stopped working at Sbux. So i told my mom that i wanted to learn to read with aunty Aisyah. I did managed to learn a bit. But had to stop as i had to enrol for matrix. Since then, i never had the initiative to continue learning. Konon sebok la. So u see, its on and off for me. I can read, but not as efficient as Ira or nita but better than adi.

Until that day when sum1 told me its very important that i learn how to read. Rasa malu pon ade. So I told my mom to buy an al-quran for me. So she did. Like a month ago...and i havent even started reading...well except for the translation. Which is also hard to understand. Ayat2 sastera :P. The al-quran is left on my table untouched. I wanted to learn with Ija and she didnt mind pon. But its very hard as i dont want to bother her. She too need to study for final and of course is busy with assignments. Until today...i told myself that i had to start reading. Its now or never. And i remember last year i installed this digital quran from my previous roommate. And i thought it would be much better. Just read the quran while listening to the person recite it. Dari situ pon boleh betulkan ape yang kita silap. So now i have my own ustaz...weeeee~

A bit Derailed

"When you are in Love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams."-Dr Seuss





These past few weeks I felt a slight change within myself. Only after several weeks I realized what it was. And it wasn’t healthy..for me, my love one or the 3rd P. I talked to ‘M’ about it. He said ‘bukan semua org ade soft spot for their ex ke?’. I wouldn’t know. He told me to make a wise decision. And I was like why do I need to make a wise decision when I already know what I want? So yea..now u know why I get irritated when ppl tell me to make a ‘decision’. And this morning when I woke up everything was back to normal. My feelings particularly. Bangun dari kesedaran.

I just needed time to figure things out. To be alone. But I already know what I want and what’s best for me. I never have any doubts of who I want. When I first decided to go for it I have instill these thots in my mind that I want to make it last. No turning back. Don’t think that I never thot it over and over before I went for it. I think the only doubts I have is of his feeling towards me. I tend to assume that when ppl show less caring feelings, they are just not sincere enough. Yes saya sgt memerlukan kasih sayang…kurang kasih sayang will only divert my attention to other stuff. Don’t worry, I understand. Maybe he’s just not there yet. (menyedapkan hati ).

Don’t get me wrong….he’s a great person. Will not touch much on him tho because im saving it for May…IF things work out well.

Lessons learnt: Do not hold back ur feelings. If u love the person..love the person to full extent.

U almost killed me

The washing machine broke down. I lost rm2.10. Yep...susah tau nak cari coins. Had to wash my laundry using the old way...HANDS. Yep2....a bucket full of 1week laundry. Plus my two towels. OMG..was sweating like a pig. Had to take a shower for the 2nd time. Technology kills