These past few weeks I felt a slight change within myself. Only after several weeks I realized what it was. And it wasn’t healthy..for me, my love one or the 3rd P. I talked to ‘M’ about it. He said ‘bukan semua org ade soft spot for their ex ke?’. I wouldn’t know. He told me to make a wise decision. And I was like why do I need to make a wise decision when I already know what I want? So yea..now u know why I get irritated when ppl tell me to make a ‘decision’. And this morning when I woke up everything was back to normal. My feelings particularly. Bangun dari kesedaran.
I just needed time to figure things out. To be alone. But I already know what I want and what’s best for me. I never have any doubts of who I want. When I first decided to go for it I have instill these thots in my mind that I want to make it last. No turning back. Don’t think that I never thot it over and over before I went for it. I think the only doubts I have is of his feeling towards me. I tend to assume that when ppl show less caring feelings, they are just not sincere enough. Yes saya sgt memerlukan kasih sayang…kurang kasih sayang will only divert my attention to other stuff. Don’t worry, I understand. Maybe he’s just not there yet. (menyedapkan hati ).
Don’t get me wrong….he’s a great person. Will not touch much on him tho because im saving it for May…IF things work out well.
Lessons learnt: Do not hold back ur feelings. If u love the person..love the person to full extent.
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